Merry Earpmas to All

Previously on Wynonna Earp… Jolene the demon came to town. Waverly got answers about her father. Everyone was really mean to Waverly. WayHaught had a sorry party.


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We kick this week off at the Homestead. A very Christmasy homestead. Tis the season in Purgatory. Wynonna is dressed in an adorable onesie and Mama is decorating a tree. Upstairs Waverly is waiting for Nicole to come out in her Elf costume, and it is too cute for words. Doc drags in a real tree but is shut down by Mama. (She’s probably not over the whole “You’re married and slept with my daughter” thing).  Mama finishes the tree, complete with an angel on top. Only, it’s not the beautiful tampon angel they usually put up. Wynonna tries to explain to Mama that it has always been this way, at least since she went away. Mama gets Wynonna to agree to keep the real angel. Wayhaught has some sexy times upstairs and reminds Wynonna that she could really use some Holliday cheer.


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How he confused him for Santa, I’ll never know (SYFY)


Down at Purgatory’s tree lot, Nedley is playing the part of Santa. (Greg really does make an adorable Santa). A couple of boys come up and make some interesting comments, and then one runs off looking for Santa. Nedley gets really confused because the kid is old enough to know that Santa isn’t real. Nedley goes after him, only to have him snatch up by none other than Bulshar.


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I feel like that was just Kat’s Reaction to the Costume (SYFY).


Back at the Homestead, Waverly sends Elf Nicole off with a kiss and a nose boop. (Seriously. Too. Freakin’. Cute.) Wynonna brings Waverly some rum eggnog “hold the nog,” emphasizing that she’ll need it. They sneak into Wynonna’s room to talk about how holiday crazy Mama has gone. (To be fair, she has been in prison the last 20 years.) Wynonna breaks the news to Waverly about her father being an angel. (It is so lovely to see all this beautiful communicating going on. Refreshing even.) Waverly comes running into the kitchen freaking out, and Mama just keeps gutting a turkey. Mid-freak-out Waverly realizes that Mama went out and killed a turkey like it was no big deal. Mama sits the girls down to tell them about Waverly’s father. Turns out Bobo was there the night that Waverly was born. Wynonna gets the call about the missing kid and takes off. Mama suggests asking Bobo about the location of Julian.


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Over at the BBD offices, Doc drags the tree be cut for the homestead inside. Jemery tells him absolutely not, he has allergies. Jeremy says he isn’t feeling very festive. Doc says that maybe Jeremy needs to find a Manfriend to help him get into the holiday season. Jeremy, of course, says that his mood has nothing to with guys but is clearly upset he hasn’t heard from Robin. Doc gives him some sound relationship advice and drags the tree back out. Jeremy tries calling Robin, but he can’t come to the phone because he’s locked in a cage. Not only is Robin locked in a cage, but so is Timothy, our missing kid.


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We catch up with Elf Nicole back at the tree lot. She is trying to get the crowd of people to calm down. Nedley is sitting looking catatonic, which is so sad. Wynonna shows up, and Nicole sends her to find Charlie out in the woods. Wynonna is just as confused as all of us, who the heck is Charlie, turns out he is fire services. They look over a huge puddle of blood and Wynonna decides that its okay to make jokes because there is no way that it came from the kid. They share some flirty banter, and then a tree branch nearly falls and crushes them, but Charlie saves the day.

Wynonna and Charlie head over to the BBD office to take Jeremy some of the blood to find out if it really is human. Jeremy gets a little defensive and Doc comes to his defense saying that he is struggling with a romantic dispute. Wynonna calls Waverly to figure out if perhaps Tiny Tim is one of the original families of purgatory. Wynonna asks how Mama is doing and Waverly lies saying she’s “elbow deep in turkey guts.” Its a lie because she has no idea what Mama is up to, she is at Bobo’s well. Wynonna tells the gang that Bulshar is most likely behind this kidnapping. Charlie is confused as to who Bulshar is. Jeremy makes some awkward dick jokes. Doc gives the non-supernatural breakdown, saying he’s a guy who holds a grudge against the original families. Jeremy realizes that Robin is also apart of the OG families and probably isn’t ghosting him and was just kidnapped like the rest of them. Wynonna says they need to go talk to Kate.


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Wynonna and Doc show up at the Gardner mansion to have a little chat with Kate. Wynonna and Kate share some witty banter and Doc interrupts with what they are really here for. Kate says she doesn’t know much, but that they were told to separate the originals from everyone else. All the first families were off limits as vamp snacks, and they had to save them for Bulshar. Doc waxes on about how Kate is indeed a victim here, after all, she was kidnapped by Vampires. Except that she wasn’t and she’s been a vampire this whole time. Which explains the picture in the newspaper looking nothing like her. Doc is very confused, he asks Kate why she never told him. She says she did, Doc just never believed her. He merely thought it was role play. She couldn’t stand to watch Doc die of tuberculosis so after she heard about his supposed death, she took off to Europe. Kate offers her assistance since she was a friend of Wyatt’s, but Wynonna declines. Kate tells Doc that he left his knife there the other night and Wynonna storms out.


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Back at the well, Waverly and her trusty shotgun try and get more answers about the night she was born. Bobo tells her about how he stumbled upon Michelle giving birth and how she sent him with the baby to protect her. Bobo took baby Waverly to Ward and told him that if he hurt her, he would come back and kill him. Waverly doesn’t really by it, saying it is far too much of a coincidence that Bobo was there just as her father went missing. Bobo says something vague about “missing for some,”  but refuses to give up any more information until he gets out of the well.


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TBH this broke me a little (SYFY)


Over at the municipal building, Doc is running after an angry Wynonna. They argue a little about Wynonna not wanting to be the other woman. Doc says she isn’t, that he and Kate are long over. Doc says that he and Wynonna have something more profound, they had a baby. They kiss under the mistletoe and Doc tells her he loves her. Wynonna, queen of avoiding feelings, walks away without saying anything. Nedley is still utterly distraught about what happened at the tree lot. He says that he froze. Nicole tries to get him to help out with all of the missing people, but he remains pretty much catatonic.


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She wanted that high-five so bad (SYFY)


Out in the forest, Nicole, Charlie, and a bunch of other townspeople are looking for Tim. While searching the woods, Nicole stumbles upon some weird looking leaves. Inside the creepy ass warehouse where Bulshar has taken all his captives, we see him shoving more of those disgusting tree seeds down peoples throats. Over at BBD, Doc is passing along the good news that Robin is probably still alive. Jeremy says that the pedals that Nicole found don’t grow naturally, but are usually planted outside factories that produce nasty smells and that the blood they found in the forest did come from a pig. They decide to split up to go check out the many locations that could have those flowers.

Back with Bulshar, he starts threatening that Tim is the next one to become a tree. Robin, the hero that Jeremy deserves, offers himself up instead. Bulshar goes on about how “woe is me, I’ve been in the ground a century,” and now everyone must pay. He makes like he’s going to go after Tim, but decides to make an example of Robin.


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#Jetri (SYFY)


Outside the creepy murder warehouse, Wynonna is trying to figure a way in. Just when she is about to head to a different location, Charlie the Fireman shows up. He admits to knowing about the supernatural happenings around Purgatory, Wynonna points her shooter at him to see if he’s a revenant when the result is negative he helps her break in. They drop in and take out all the bad guys in masks and rescue the trapped citizen. Unfortunately, they didn’t there before Bulshar forced a weird seed thingy down Robin’s throat. (I’m sure that’s gonna be an issue later.) They take everyone back to the Sheriff’s Station, and Jetri shares a cute kiss under the mistletoe. Robin invites Jeremy to Christmas dinner, but he says that he has a family dinner to go to. (I’m not crying, you’re crying) Nedley calls Nicole into the office and tells her that he was terrible at his job today. Then he drops the bomb, he’s gonna retire.


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Found Family is just as real (SYFY) 


At the Homestead, Christmas dinner is in full swing. Doc gets a little offended that Wynonna didn’t call when she found all the missing people and she tells him that she had it handle because Charlie was there. They share a beautiful moment to remember Dolls and its so precious. Doc gets up to leave mid-dinner, presumably to go to Kate. Mama thanks Nicole for making Waves happy and it’s beautiful. Mama gives such a heartfelt speech I could cry. The menstrual angel gets it rightful spot on the top of the tree. Mama and Wynonna have a beautiful moment, and Wynonna leaves to go find Charlie.


Wynonna meets up with Charlie as he’s taking down all the Christmas light on the fire truck at the tree lot. They share some witty banter and flirtatious quips. Wynonna says she can’t do strings and then they do the do. While Wynonna is getting some, Mama goes to see Bobo and drops a rope down the well.


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Sheriff Haught??? More like Sheriff Hearteyes (SYFY)


Over in Wayhaught land, Waverly surprises Nicole with a lovely little Christmas dance. Waverly says that she wanted to make up for not properly celebrating Nicole’s big news. She sings a cute little Christmas song as she dances. (Honestly, it was the cutest thing on the planet, and no one can tell me differently.)


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When we catch up with Doc, he is in fact with Kate. Turns out she was attacked by some of Bulshar’s men but managed to fight them off. They share a cute married couple moment, and Kate tells Doc how much she needs him. Doc says he will do anything for her. Unfortunately, it involves an abysmal decision. DOC LETS KATE FREAKING BITE HIM. Doc became a Vampire. (Look I totally get that he’s struggling with his mortality, but c’mon Doc.).

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